Stop Over-Working In 5 Not So Easy Steps

Over-working 60-70 hours per week and even more?

Familiar with feeling like you are on a hamster wheel with no way off? Are you losing momentum, and aren’t even sure what the next best step is when it comes to getting ahead?

Is your dream vacation, scheduled for “some day,” yet that “some day” continues to be pushed further and further out?

If you are experiencing this in management or business right now, working long hours has likely been going on way too long. Join the club of hundreds of thousands of over-working, over-tired, well intended, go-getters.

I totally understand, I’ve been there myself. In fact, my husband swears I was over-working upwards of 80-hours per week. (I got up in the middle of almost every night to work on projects I just couldn’t figure out how to complete during my normal work hours.)

You see, I thought that if I just worked a little bit harder, and could just turn that corner, things would get better. Years went by with that same mindset. I still worked all those hours without play time or vacations. In fact, I worked so much that when I was diagnosed with Stage IV Lymphoma, I didn’t have time for that either…

Unless you have a startling life experience, often you work for years and the corner never comes. Instead, it becomes a habit and a way of life.

My heart for you is to not have my wake up call, (BTW – I am now cancer free and work about 20 hours per week and live in paradise).
Instead here’s how to break free of the cycle of over-working in 5 not so easy steps:

1. Set a start and stop time at work and stick to it!

My trick? Set dates with friends that you want to be around, schedule family activities that force you to move away from work. Make a promise to someone you will not break.

2. Sleep all night instead of sneaking out to work in the wee hours of the morning.

I have to admit, I still struggle with this one, however, it’s down to a couple of nights per month instead of every other night. The habit of disrupting your sleep causes weight gain and actually decreases your productivity. You make a lot more mistakes because your brain does not function in top form when it lacks sleep.

My tip? Stop taking on projects that stress you or feel like a lot of work. Realize that you can make plenty of money without trying to do more. Be exceptionally great at what you do best and set boundaries. When you are amazing, (fully present with your highest skills) you can charge higher fees by learning to help your people or clients solve their own problems. When you do this well, you actually work less. You can then farm out your midnight oil burning work or will finally have the time to do it.

3. Get help to do all the things you can’t charge a client to do.

This work might also be called your “cringe” work – all the stuff you procrastinate on. At first, you may say “I can’t afford an assistant,” gradually you will realize you can’t afford not to have their help because they like your “cringe” work and it gets done. Once you find people you can trust, this allows you no excuse to do the real money making activities.

My trick? I started with interns; they taught me for free how to decide, organize and explain the work I wanted done. Eventually, I graduated to an overseas service. They were the right price, but for me was difficult to get across what I wanted. Finally, I found a Virtual Assistant, who balances me and craves my “cringe” work. Whew!

4. Take mini-weekend vacations at least once a month.

My tip? Plan those vacations in advance and where possible, pay for them up front. There are amazing wonders just hours from where you live. This time away allows you the rest and the relationship time that will both fuel your work and reconnect you with your family. You can’t lose with this. Even an afternoon picnic in the park is better than excusing yourself, again, from those you love.

5. Clear all the BS (belief systems) that tell you steps 1-4 are not an option.

Maybe you can see what you are doing and a way out; if you can, good for you. I couldn’t and I argued profusely with every one on the points above. I reassured myself that my break was just around the corner. It was, it was my breaking point.

You see, when you think “this is the only way”, then it is the ONLY way. The problem is that you made up that thought. When we buy into our thoughts (or the ones we are told over and over again by others we trust) that the only way to success is through hard work, long hours and lots of sacrifice, this infers that maybe, just maybe, one day you can enjoy life – later. What if this were not true?

What if you could have your cake and eat it too? What if you could work and enjoy life today? I’m not talking all play, I’m talking work and play. If you aren’t doing both, it is likely your family no longer believes that you are going to spend time with them. Is it time to change that? If you think all of your plates will crash and break if you stop working for those extra 4-5 hours per day, I’d like to challenge your approach.

My tip? Get someone to help you see a way through this cloud of impossibility. To support you in seeing your life the way you would like to see it. Your spouse is not the one, it’s not fair to him or her. When you hire someone to work with you, you are more likely to listen.

What are you going to do about this? If you say to me, “Not now, I’m almost there, I can feel it, it’s just around the corner,” go back and re-read this article.

Would you like help taking these 5 not so easy steps?

Would you like to think that making these changes in your work schedule is doable? If you are ready to turn this around in your life, take advantage of this:
over working offer


To get this session FOR JUST $97, (regularly $997) use the code


Act now, this offer may be subject to change or withdrawal.

Nescient Managers

Nescient Managers Don’t Get It

Nescient Managers are the unknowing bane of the workplace.

I just knew the envelope sitting in my office cubby contained “the dreaded release letter” from my boss, telling me I was to be budget cut within the next month. Due to fretting over the delivery of that letter, my productivity came to a halt, my sleep became elusive, and I gained 5 lbs within 2 weeks. I gossiped voraciously, and fear laced my every conversation.

This workplace stress causing situation could have been dramatically reduced by my manager had he known what to do.

My example is one of hundreds of my own stories of workplace stress. I wonder how many of your workplace stress stories could have been reduced by your manager?

Managers must be knowledgeable in order to successfully address stressful workplace situations.

“NESCIENT MANAGERS” contribute to a stressful workplace.

Nescient Managers, meaning lacking knowledge or sophistication, happens often when managers are promoted because of their work habits rather than their people and management skills.

You may be a “Nescient Manager” when you notice…

• You cringe at the thought of handling gossip, backbiting, bad attitudes, or resentment.
• Worker conflicts, de-motivated employees, and anything else leave you in a pool of worry, anger, or a sense of helplessness.
• Workers show up for work late or take more sick-time than normal.
• When conflicts happen, you notice yourself delving deeper into work to avoid them.
• Staying awake nights thinking of how to fix “Fred.”
• You feel hatred for the job you once loved.

Many administrators don’t understand why their prized former worker, now turned manager, is failing. Managing everyday workplace stress related people “stuff” is just not a natural skill for most people.

Management requires solid people skills, and patience with others coupled with an ability to move the dial on the vision of the company.

Nescient Managers Quick Fix

• Just like going to school to learn a trade the way to really become a craftsman is to repeat the trade until becoming one with it. So it is with management training for your unschooled managers.
• Train your managers in the art of communication, reading behavioral styles, conflict resolution, stress reduction and basic management skills.
• Long-term coaching for your manager can be another solid strategy to address and reduce workplace stress.

Training and coaching your manager will significantly improve your manager’s chance to improve your workplace. You will gain a confident, productive, and competent staff member you can be proud of and who will profit your business in more ways than you can count.

Blameless Managers Are To Blame For A Stressful Workplace

Blameless Managers are to Blame For A Stressful Workplace

How Are Blameless Managers to Blame For A Stressful Workplace?

“The reason why my reports don’t get turned in on time is because of my unmotivated assistant whom is always behind. It’s his job to look up the stats and get them to me and I get them too late.” Sound like a familiar complaint? This is the kind of excuse that comes from a “blameless manager.”


Blameless managers point the finger away from themselves.

You may be a “Blameless Manager”…

• If your concerns about staff eventually turn into complaints and maybe even an attitude against the frequent offenders, blame is creeping up.
• If you complain about having the wrong people, or people who are lazy, useless, dead weight, or unmotivated, it’s starting to look like “they” are the problem.
• Dislike your staff? This may be a workplace stress causer you’ve stepped yourself into.

Blameless Manager Quick Fix

• Pay attention to the words you use when you talk about work, your staff, and your management. When you find your talk is negative – stop and change it to something that contributes to improving work conditions.
• Spend time daily discovering what you like about your staff. They will notice and appreciate it.
• What you give off – in words or attitude comes back to you.

If you really want your manager to succeed while reducing workplace stress, invest in helping your manager take accountability.

By addressing this very common and critical area of blaming, you will save yourself hours of frustration and save your company thousands upon thousands in replacing disgruntled employees.

workplace stress

Workplace Stress Increased By Fix-It Managers

Workplace stress is a global epidemic

• Over 105 million days are lost to workplace stress each year. 1

I’m guilty; I catch myself doing work that should have been handed over to my executive assistant. Rather than explain the work, I rationalize it as easier to do myself. Who is this helping? Not me. That smart move seems to put me further behind. It is the rational of a Fixit Manager. Little do they realize, this kind of management greatly contributes to workplace stress.

Are you guilty of being a Fixit Manager?

A “FIXIT” MANAGER gets called upon constantly to fix peoples problems- the more they fix, the higher the workplace stress.

You may be entrenched as a “Fixit Manager” if you…
• Do work that your staff should be doing.
• Are so busy putting out fires that you have little time left to get your own work done.
• Notice a stream of workers waiting for your instructions before something can move forward.
• Over-work, often.
• Are beginning to resent people who don’t notice how hard you work to make things fair and equitable.
• Recognize similar problems with different faces – this alone is a huge indicator of workplace stress.

Fixit Manager Quick-Fix

• Delegate a lot more.
• Empower employees to make decisions on their own.
• Come from a coaching mindset rather than…
• “I’m the boss, therefore do” commanding mindset,
• or “Come on, just this once” pleading mindset.

It is not your job as a manager to solve everyone’s problem. That may sound counter-intuitive, however, workplace stress is at its highest when people are unempowered. When you solve others problems, you have taken away your employee’s power to solve it on her own. It is your job to support employees as they solve their own problems.

Do get yourself out of the middle and let your employees have a turn at figuring out how to get more work done in less time. This could also include them problem solving their own need to show up for meetings, or get along with a co-worker.

1. (Source Health & Safety Executive)

Management Fun

Management Fun; 4 Steps To Fun, Amazing Managers

Management? Fun?  Often those two words don’t fit in the same sentence.

“I thought Management was supposed to be fun, but this is awful!”  The exact words a dismayed manager gave me as he listed the challenges he was facing daily with his staff.   “I have to deal with sick-time, people being late for work, bad attitudes, employees gossiping about each other, passive-aggressive behaviors, late assignments, apathy and conflicts and complaints about anything and everything. I swear I spend most of my day putting out fires and none of it is fun.”

There are managers who feel differently, they love their job and their people. They eagerly anticipate their next work day. These are people who think management is fun.

So what’s the difference? Why is management fun for some and not for others?

Often, the biggest difference is that frustrated managers were not given adequate tools or training to properly manage people or themselves. So many managers were excellent workers who got along well with their coworkers.  Once promoted to management level, everything changed. The newly appointed manager, former coworker and friend, must make their fellow employees toe-the-line. Now, they must get after their colleagues. Untrained managers often give in to statements like, “I thought we were friends,”or “You’ve known I drop my kids off at the baby-sitters and sometimes it’s crazy, I can’t possibly make it every morning by 8.”  (What are your staff member excuse statements? I’d love to see them in the comments section below).

If your day is less fun like just described, which many, many leaders admit to; here are 4 things you can do to have management fun.

1. Embrace your staff as if you have the very best people on earth in your employ.

If you think you have the wrong people, think again.

People are people, it’s your job to build the right people.

In my “From Managers To Leaders workshop“, one of the topics I facilitate is The Pygmalion Effect. The Pygmalion Effect is a study of how your own opinion of your staff members is instrumental in making or breaking their performance. Start looking for the strengths in your employees and focus more on those than their weaknesses. They will appreciate it and you may even notice better performance from them.

What’s fun about this?  How do you feel when people think you are simply amazing at what you do? That’s how your staff will feel too once they trust this in you.

2. Be consistent in enforcing company policy.

You likely already are consistent and predictable, the tweak you want to make is consistent in a way that commands respect.  Company policy is a good starting place. Don’t like the company policy or not given authority to enforce it?  Either get it changed or no longer represent the company. If you cannot stand behind your company’s values, then you are in the wrong place and daily offer a disservice to your employees as well as yourself.

  • If your company does not have policy, write it for them.
  • Not taking action or waiting for someone else to do initiate company policy is playing small.
  • You were designed as a leader or you wouldn’t be in that position, trust that.

What’s fun about this? Once everyone knows you stick to policy, they will stop testing you, you can relax and actually enjoy your staff.


3. Understand and read your people well.

Your people beg to be understood. If you continue to see an individual as not making sense, lazy or abrasive, perhaps it is because you really don’t understand what makes them perform. No one is born lazy, however, unmotivated people act lazy. The problem here is not knowing how to motivate your employee. First, seek to understand him or her, next find out what motivates them and then act on it.

What’s fun about this? As you improve in your people reading, you will notice people liking you more. When they like you, they start to respect you.


 4. Coach your people.

Coaching is an approach that once you have mastered the above three, will take you further and beyond any management skill alone.  Coaching empowers employees to solve their own problems. Instead of having a team of people who are dependent upon your management decision making, these people find their own way because you 1. believe in them, 2. are consistent, 3. get them and 4. are working with them in a way that allows them to discover their own path.

Coaching is powerful in:

  • Listening and an active presence.
  • Clarity, planning and goal setting.
  • Provocative inquiry “Tell me more” instead of “Why didn’t you?”
  • Shifting perspectives so employees can get your and their desired results more effectively and efficiently.

What’s fun about this?  You save an arm and a leg on coaching fees for an entire staff which means; more money in your pocket, better training for you.  Get the training for yourself and then be the example, how fun is that to have others point you out as the example to follow?

Establishing these four good management fun habits for yourself may seem like more work on the front end, however, once done, your management fun will increase exponentially. When you climb above the muck and the mire of problem-ridden management, you will find management can be exhilarating, empowering and fulfilling – as well as fun.

Does your management fall into a black hole? Click here to take the test.

Eliminate workplace conflict

Try This To Eliminate Workplace Conflict

Want to eliminate workplace conflict in your workplace?

Often, we  desire to eliminate workplace conflict, but instead find ourselves in a pickle barrel of conflict and don’t really know how to get out of it.

I’m sure you’ve asked yourself, “Why is this conflict happening to me?” And of course, when you do, your mind has to go into overtime to come up with all the reasons you are in conflict at work.  “This company culture sucks,” “This person hates me,”  “I am not suited for the job,” “That person is an idiot,” and so the downward spiral continues.

Try these three simple things, without saying a word, to see which one will eliminate workplace conflict for you.

1. Send the conflict back to them.  

Honestly, I think you already know where this is going.  By sending more of the same, you will likely get more of the same. This is a universal law – you get back what you give.  When someone gives the energy or intention of conflict, and you choose to give it back, it is most likely to only escalate.

The key to eliminating workplace conflict is to understand that you have to take on the conflict in the first place for there to be an actual conflict…

And, most of us do just that.  We get defensive. We get angry. We get hurt. We avoid the other person.  We complain about them. We act passive-aggressive towards them. Or we get aggressive towards them.

How has that worked so far?  No sleep? Do you have anxiety every time you see the person you are in a conflicted with? Maybe you have a sense of dread, unrest, or a un-peace? Have you’ve gotten sick over workplace conflict?  This first idea is usually what happens, and it really doesn’t work to resolve conflict.

2. Let the workplace conflict flow right through you.

This is truly a different way of handling conflict. First of all, when you let it go through you, you can’t hold on to it.  It passes through.

Here’s a helpful question to ask yourself: “Does this conflict belong to me?” This question encourages conflict to flow right through. Why? Because unless you purposefully started the conflict, it doesn’t really belong to you unless you pick it up. Therefore, it must leave your mental space.  Weird, but true.  Try it, see what happens and post a comment, I’d like to hear your experience.

3. Send thoughts of love and peace towards whom you are in conflict with.

Oh there you go, getting all gushy on me,Pamela! Why would I want to do something like that?  Send love to that jerk?  You’ve got to be kidding!!!

Let’s get logical. We already know that sending more conflict, feelings of fear, resentment, anger and other sorts of antagonism back do NOT work.

What is the opposite of fear, anger, resentment and conflict?  Love, peace, courage, and joy.  We’ve already discussed that whatever you give off comes back to you.  What on earth do you have to lose in returning love for anger, except maybe a little bit of conflict?

Want more?  Here are some quick resources to help you eliminate workplace conflict in your life:

Magic Bullet Strategy Session with Pamela

Unleash Your Inner Power, 7-minute YouTube Video, Tony Robbins

Speaking in front of a camera

Tips For Speaking In Front Of A Camera

Are you speaking in front of a camera any time soon?

It’s time to prepare for your video shoot!

I think I know how you must feel, anxious, excited, intimidated and perhaps a bit squeamish.  I went through every one of those reactions and more as I prepared for my own video shoot.  In fact, I kept putting my shoot off because I really didn’t know what to do. Nor did I know how to show up. Nor did I really know the exact results I wanted.  That was enough to throw me into major procrastination.  And quite possibly for you.

In order for speaking in front of a camera to be the awesome experience you are looking for, please follow all instructions carefully.

You will feel better speaking in front of a camera after utilizing these tips.

Watch this video over and over until you think you have it.  Practice, practice, practice, preferably in front of a mirror.  Once you like what you say and how it comes across in the mirror, you are going to like yourself on video!

Note what I should not have done during this training video, I bet you will see it right away.

I’d like to see your comments in the comment section. Both what I should not have done and what you will try for yourself.

Want a template to download to rehearse with?  Download complimentary Video Intro Template.

Management Black Hole Test

Management Black Hole? Take The Test And See For Yourself.

Your VFB Pro license is UNVERIFIED. You must enter your license information before VFB Pro can fully function.

Do You Have A Management Black Hole In Your Organization?

First, it’s important to understand what a management black hole is. A management black hole in organizations is:

“An area of the company where undesirable activities occur in abundance. These black holes are unknown to management.

A black hole is also where management thinks desirable activities occur but they do not. It is also where desirable activities do not occur in abundance.”

(Excerpt from the book The Black Hole In Organizations.)

Take the Management Black Hole Test now. See where your organization lies.

No commitment required.

Thank you for being gutsy enough to look honestly at your organization.
You will then be redirected to the Confident Executive Development page.
Passive Aggressive Workplace Quiz

Passive Aggressive Workplace?

Your VFB Pro license is UNVERIFIED. You must enter your license information before VFB Pro can fully function.

Is Your Workplace Is In Trouble?

Take the Passive Aggressive Workplace Assessment Here.

In our passive aggressive workplace assessment take a deeper look at what’s going on with you and the team you manage right now to…

  • Put your finger on the passive aggressive actions taking place in your workplace today.
  • Identify behaviors that are likely losing you employees and money.
  • Gain clarity on what is happening, or not, in your workplace now.


Already know you want to pursue this further?

Start with a complimentary Management Assessment with me. Together, we will create a high level action plan to make this obvious frustration go away.

Management Black Hole

Do You Have A Management Black Hole?

Your VFB Pro license is UNVERIFIED. You must enter your license information before VFB Pro can fully function.

What’s A Management Black Hole?


According to the book, “The Black Hole In Organizations,” a management black hole is:

  • “An area of the company where undesirable activities occur, in abundance, unknowingly to management.
  • A management black hole is also where management thinks desirable activities occur but they do not.
  • It is also where desirable activities do not occur in abundance.”

What does all that mean to you?  

  • It means you can see the money going down the drain.
  • It also means you may not know who or what is causing it.
  • It also means the great image you hold of your company is not what it really looks like.


The One or Ones Who Create The Black Hole…

  • Lost his sense of urgency and is quickly sinking the company profits.
  • Is out of control, she stirs up more people trouble than she can fix.
  • Lost your confidence because he or she is playing at average or below.
  • Is now an under-performer who takes up your valuable time.
  • Doesn’t quite get it because her employees are unproductive or misdirected.


Still not sure?  


Take the Management Black Hole Test now.

Management cannot handle what management cannot see. See where your organization lies.

No commitment required on any of my blog posts or quizzes, ever.

Thank you for being gutsy enough to look honestly at your organization through the Management Black Hole Test.
Once you have completed your Management Black Hole Test you will be redirected to the Confident Executive Development page.